In the Sunshine of Your Love

04/30/09 - So last night I took a calculus exam. I did okay on it, but that's not the point. I am now left with a gap in my day. I have no exam to study for. I actually have time to do things. Like play guitar. Or read. Or just lay around and listen to music. "You can go your own way..."

I play guitar a lot. I don't think it's too much, but it is definitely a lot more than most people. I feel comfortable in saying that, because I'm pretty sure most people don't play guitar. Some one should do a study on that. Or maybe include it in the Census Questionnaire. "Number of children in the household.... Spouse?... Guitar?..." Too many, unfortunately, I wish.

(those wouldn't be my answers, just some random person who apparently has a lot of kids--literally, an actual lot--doesn't like his wife, and can't play guitar)

Today in Rhetoric class. Wait let me stop and say something. That is the most worthless class I have ever taken. Ever. Anyway, back to the story. We had to share group projects. I won't go into detail. I didn't really pay attention. Except for one, which was about a subject very close to my heart. Popeye's Chicken.

I'm going to take a minute, first to explain what Popeye's means to me. I. Fucking. Love. Popeye's chicken. I honestly feel, deep down in my soul, that "Popeye's Chicken is fuckin' awesome!" Every time I walk into a Popeyes, I feel, at once, alone and yet at home. This is because, while I'm generally the only college-aged white man in the establishment at any given time, I feel really comfortable in those circumstances. For instance, my first day at a new high school, where did I sit for lunch? With the black kids. I think it comes from being one of the only white democrats in East Texas. But i digress from my digression. The point is I really dig Popeye's Chicken.

So, with that in mind, lets talk about this presentation. Have you watched the YouTube video linked to this blog? Go ahead and do that. I'll wait.

Done? Okay.

How 'bout now? Ah, good.

So we watched this video in class right? It comes off as extremely racist. But let's not think about that for a moment. Lets not think about how the large woman in her Suburban yells for a solid minute at a sign and a recording. Or how there are no white people seen going to Popeye's. Instead, lets talk about a particular phrase one of the men says at one point in the video. I'm not listening back to get the word-for-word, but basically he says "now, are they out of chicken, or is there no chicken." Most people thought this was a dumb thing to say, because it seems as though it just communicates the same question twice. Not true! Being a regular patron of Popeye's, I have experienced exactly what the man is referring to in one half of his question. An individual Popeye's gets chicken for however much they think they'll need for the week/day/month, whatever time interval they use. Obviously they don't cook it (and I use the term "cook" loosely) all at once. That would be ridiculous. They cook a bunch at once, then sell it off, then cook some more. The problem occurs when you happen to want a particular kind of chicken that they have recently sold out of. Most of the time they have some more of it, and they are even making it as you order, but they prefer to just tell the extremely disappointed customer that they are out of that kind of chicken. Or that there is no more chicken. They switch it up on you from time to time. Which is why I can't tell you which part of the man's question was meant to mean, "hey, I know this trick so I'll just wait" and which part was "holy shit, you can't really not have any chicken left!!!???" I can translate the phrase, just not the literal meaning.

Well that was a long paragraph. And I'm very hungry. So, I'll be going. Hot Pockets maybe? I dunno. Haven't really decided.

Well I Like Coffee and I Like Tea….

04/29/09 - I drink Starbucks. A lot. This is a fact. And in my hometown of Marshall, there was never a Starbucks proper to go to, and for a long time, no place that even served their coffee. The closest one, in fact was about 40-45 minutes west of where I lived. Needless to say, I didn’t go there often during my first few years drinking coffee—I drank mostly at local places—and in fact, I didn’t even really like the taste of their brew. After a while, though, my parents started including Starbucks on the list of destinations when we went into the “city” which was actually just a slightly bigger town called Longview. After this, I began to associate Starbucks with other fun things we would do on those trips—going out to eat at a decent restaurant, getting a new CD at the record store, or a new book at the Books a Million. It was just another part of those trips.

The novelty of Starbucks never really wore off for me, however, not even when I started going to school in Longview and could go there regularly. Which I did. Almost every day four to five days a week. I had money to spend, and even when gas started to get expensive, I always budgeted so that I’d have enough for Starbucks. And when I got to college and discovered that everyone here thought Starbucks was the man trying to squelch the souls of the good hippies of this town, I just kept drinking it. This semester I did several essays for a class on Starbucks. I read article after article on how Starbucks mistreats employees, how little they pay their farmers, and overcharges for the commoditization of an atmosphere, a lifestyle, a kind of je nous se qua. And I recognized how readily they conform to the archetype of an evil corporation. But I still drink their coffee, and that has angered some people.

I don’t have a good reason for continuing to “support” this company. But I have been able to pick out my favorite bad reason. Honestly, it’s convenient for me. There’s one right on campus about 2 minutes from where I live, and another one not much farther off campus. It’s just easy. And if we are going to persist with this capitalist laissez faire style economy, by god I’m going to buy the things that are most convenient, either for location or for price. Which is the other thing. As I said, Starbucks overcharges. But to compete, so do all the indie coffee stores. So where does that leave me as the consumer? Willing to buy from the evil corporation. Because it’s easy. And about the same price. That’s all I have to say about that, I guess.

Laughs-How not to get them; My Mind-How it works against itself

04/28/09 - It never ceases to amaze me how silly some people can sound in a classroom. By some people, I mean myself, mostly. In at least one class every semester, I feel the need to act like a fool. Maybe it's just a kind of nostalgia for the days back in high school where I could make a decent joke at my own expense and it still be funny (or at least I thought I could...), but now I find that even the most self-deprecating of humor is met with silence and uncomfortable looks. Obviously playing the part of the fool has retired from the realm of ironic comedy into the cesspool of cheap laughs (that or I'm just not funny, which though a more likely scenario, won't contribute much to this writing). This is unfortunate, as ironic-foolery was always an easy way to get a laugh for me; now I have to resort to actually saying clever things. 

Which brings me to my next point: how long it will take for witticisms to become "not funny." Witty comedians have almost always been considered funny, from the subtle wit behind Monty Python's seemingly random shenanigans to the clever "observation comedy" of greats like Jerry Seinfeld. However, more and more I see every random Joe Shmuck thinking they can spurt out rehashed, "clever" phrases for all the world to read, either via tried-and-true annoying bumper stickers and ironic t-shirts or through new e-routes of Twitter and Facebook status updates (or blogging). Now, I would be lying if i didn't admit to doing all of the above, but more importantly, everyone that might currently read this would know I was lying. So I'll admit it, but only in the face of being caught. That aside, I can't help but think that this mas exposure to all these clever phrases may make the entire genre of witty jokes seem, well... lame overkill, overplayed, boring, trite, etc. Not funny, is the point. Now I'm not a comedian, and my friends are often telling me my jokes are lame, so I think I would definitely be an expert on what's not funny. Oops. There I go again with my self-deprecating humor. 

If I could return to an earlier topic of discusion, however, it would be people seeming silly in class. I don't want to seem like that guy who always sneers when someone asks the teacher a dumb question, and I really don't think I am! He sits two seats over from me. But I do catch myself listening to Q & A rounds between student and profesor, and thinking, "How... why... what... where do these questions... these non-ideas... who needs to ask something like that?!" Then I look over and I answer myself, "ah yes... sorority girl in the front row. Yeah, she does need to ask that question." Of course, then the guilt of hitting an huge group of people with such an unfair stereotype hits me, and I remind myself, "now now, David. Not all girls are that dumb." Just kidding of course, I also know that most sorority girls aren't dumb either. I was just thought I'd try making the butt of the joke someone other than me. Did it work? I hope so.

What's amazing to me, is that while I really shouldn't be able to feel superior to anyone in my classes, I can't help but think some of them are actually less smart than me. Which may be beyond my scope of understanding. After all, I got into a public university by graduating from a public high school in the top ten percent. I really just had to sign my name on the application, and I was in. Most of my classes are filled with honors students. Everyone should be at least as smart as I am. Following this trail of thought, something occurred to me: maybe they are. Maybe, they are so far beyond my level of thought, that the questions they ask--which sound dumb to me--are actually so intelligent, so intellectual, so insightful that I am literally unable to comprehend them to their full complexity. God that would suck. See this is the kind of sick self-doubt my mind likes to throw at me. By the way, I meant that in a totally non self-deprecating sense.

I would like to close with a word on the season of Lint. Not the most popular to be sure, and it's about a month gone by, now, but I think it holds well to this topic of negative things I do to my self (self-deprivation rather than self-deprecation). I have barely gotten used to Facebook again, and yet I am already thinking up new and exciting things to give up for next year. I really think I should hold out for something way cool that's yet to be invented, but my mind is on a constant lookout for things that would make me miserable to be without. Some recent things it has noted is Brand-named food, especially cereal. I utterly hate the idea of eating off-brand Honey Combs or Rice Crispies. I find their prominence on the breakfast food isle to be offensive at best, but more often, just plain revolting. It would be great for me to give something like that up for Lent, I think. Anyway, I'm hungry. It's time to break out the Hot Pockets.

Some things that occurred to me while watching the Daily Show

04/27/09 - So Stewart asked a funny question of the French finance minister on tonight's show: "Who is more socialist at this time, the U.S. or France?" It's funny because America, with its democratic president, isn't even considered to be liberal in the rest of the world. Okay, so that didn't need to be explained, but I like to bring it up because I am constantly amused by the people who think we are becoming this leftist, socialist, communist society. For instance, a "friend" of mine on Facebook who goes to a university in Texas recently posted as his status, 

"John Doe thinks his room needs to be cooler, but that's never going to happen. Stupid socialists with their state controlled A/C units...."

I just find it hard to believe that some how, unbeknownst to every Texan (but one apparently), Socialists have managed to infiltrate the State Board of Education's College Dorm Room A/C Temperature Control Committee and set the temperature deliberately too high in order to save the State money. That's it for the political diatribe, i think.

I hate it when i drop the remote. My bed is much too high. Probably the socialists fault. Oh well, I wanted Hot Pockets anyway. 

Molten cheese followed by the Decemberists is delicious.

Less funny is Verizon Wireless's "these sprinkles represent..." commercial. No one wants that many sprinkles on their ice cream.

I think that if I jumped off a building in the middle of a city--as is done in the Rhapsody Music commercial--I would be listening to something a little more emo than what the woman listens to in the commercial.

I wonder if it was the lack of credit checks, down-payments, etc. that helped fuel the current economic crisis. I mean, I'm just an economics major, so I probably have no more insight into the matter than a drag-rat, but it just seems like that kind of consumeristic attitude wouldn't help the situation.

The poor Cyclops in Krod Mandoon... he just needs some counseling. Not unlike some other people I know. 

"Hey! Mambo! Mambo Italiano!" Such a better commercial song than Five Dollar Foot Long. Jimmy John's has good spots too though. I especially like their multilingual ads. You know the one. Where the woman drops her towel and the delivery boy smiles and gives a thumbs up. It appeals to my young male stereotype, but I do wonder when they'll get sued for creative property infringement by the porn industry.

Bally Fitness offers memberships to over 300 clubs nationwide. Do people who get memberships to fitness centers travel around the country much?

I'm not really sure how long an average blog entry is supposed to last, but i think I'm going to call it quits here pretty soon. In closing, I want to say publicly that, like almost everyone else out there, I hate how commercials take up so much TV time. We should be allowed more time to watch the mind rotting shows instead. Just kidding of course. There is some good television out there. Like PBS. And how can there only be two spanish language channels on basic cable? I don't know, I'm not the Czar of Television. Assuming there is such a position. I bet the socialists are in charge of it too. Fuckin' shit up. Damn socialists.

Well... so I feel like this has been a productive bout of blogging. I know it's not a lot. I'm sure it's poorly written. But I've read worse. And it's just the internet.